The Bryan, The Vacuum, and The Application
by DarkYoyo
Summary: Bryan has a fetish for vacuum cleaners. He also needs to get a job or he'll be sent to Juvenile Prison. The application says be honest, so that's what Bryan will be. This is completely random.


Okay, so this came into my head because my baby sister has decided it would be fun to drive the Vacuum in my room whilst I'm here n the computer. So enjoy. And I know the application is pretty vulgar, but I have no idea what a real one looks like, the first siign of school or work and I run for the hills! Yes I am a lazy fucker.

* * *

Bryan has a fetish for Vacuum cleaners. Here we see our favourite sadistic fucker filling out an application for a job. Honesty is nice, but sometimes just plain creepy as we will find out…..

Bryan stared at the blank screen in front of him. He was sat at his laptop, looking at the online application he had to fill out. After his sixth charge of assault, the courts had decided that either he applies for a job, any job, or he goes to Saint John's Juvenile Prison for the Mentally Insane.

Bryan let own a low growling noise, the application had a note attached to it:

"**Please be as honest as you can. We want to know the real you, so we can assess which job would be best suited for you."**

Sighing, he began to type.

**About You:**  
**Name:** Bryan (Mr. Bonjagles the Fashion Whore)  
**Age:** 17 and my vacuum (Bless her) is two years younger.  
**Sex:** Yes please! (But the vacuum might get angry, shh don't tell it!)  
**Location:** With my vacuum in bed.  
**Status:** Applianced.

**Orientation:** Appliance.

**Fetishes:** Appliances, sucking sounds, blowing hot air through the vents.

**Your Favourite Items:**  
**Movie:** The Vacuum does Texas Volume 4, and The Vacuum 2000.  
**Book:** The inside and out of a vacuum.  
**Poem:** Roses are red, violets are blue, my vacuum is blowing you.  
**Album:** The sounds of the vacuum.  
**Song:** Oops! I hoovered it again! By Spitney Nears.  
**Game:** Vacuum me if you can: Part Three.  
**Toothpaste:** Vacuum dust bunnies.  
**Food and Drink:** The nooks and crannies of a spinning vacuum fan.  
**Magazine:** Vacuum biggins.  
**Store:** Sears Electronic Department.  
**TV Show:** Infomercials of vacuum lust (only in Russia)  
**Color:** Vacuum red.  
**Sex Position:**Vacuum tubing.  
**Condom Brand:** Vacuum Liner Bags.  
**Actor/Actress:** Mad Max Hoover.  
**Hobby:** Taking parts off vacuums and re-installing them into the fuck-o-matic.  
**Mental Condition:** I do not define insanity when a vacuum loves me.

**Health Issues:**

**Smoke:** I smoked a Hoovers gas once.  
**Drink:** I drink the overflowing juices of the Hoover.  
**Do Drugs:** If you consider a vacuum, drugs….  
**Label People:** Everyone is a Hoover!  
**Use Vulgarity:** Only when the vacuum dies of a power outage.  
**Like Anal:** The Hoover tried, but it pulled out the gerbil.  
**Like Oral:** Yes very much. The Hoover really knows how to Hoover.  
**Have one night stands:** Only when I borrow an appliance from a neighbour  
**Unprotected Sex:** The Hoover cannot be pregnant.

**Your Personality:**

**ASSHOLE:** Yes, only when the Hoover denies me pleasure.  
**Vain:** Only when I'm not satisfied.  
**Hypocritical:** Only when my vacuum does not fulfil my needs.  
**Open-minded:** Yes I am open minded to other brand name vacuums.  
**Crazy:** I'm only crazy for the Hoovers tubing  
**Nerdy:** I'm a geek for vacuum appliances.  
**Sexy:** Yes, I am sexy, only when I'm hard as a rock.  
**Cool:** Yeah, I'm cool, everyone should own a Vacuum Hoover.  
**Shy:** I'm only shy when it's not turned on.

**A Few Questions…**  
**Sex or Masturbation:** Is a vacuum masturbation?  
**Dominant or Submissive:** Dominant, because I have control of the power button.  
**Mastering some one, Currently owned or still searching: **I own the Vacuum, therefore I am the master.  
**Cock or Pussy:** If it smells like fish its called pussy.  
**Giving or Receiving:** I think my vacuum is giving.  
**Hard-core or Soft-core:** Well, I think the vacuum is a little rough.  
**Making Love or Fucking:** It's too busy sucking me dry.  
**Monogamy or Infidelity or Fuck Buddies:** Is an appliance a fuck buddy?  
**PC or MAC:** I have a PC but I pimped it to become a sucker.  
**Windows or Unix/Linux:** I use windows ultra suck vacuum.  
**Laugh or Cry:** Sometimes I laugh and cry at the same time when my vacuum sucks me dry. I even bleed.

**Elaborate**:  
**Why are you applying for a job?** I would like to pursue a career as a Four Star Vacuum. That and the judge says I need a job.  
**What type of computer do you use?** The Hooverphonics.  
**What ISP do you use?** the hoover 3000 access to everything  
**What irritates you?** When I see another person use a vacuum, and it is not to it's full potential.  
**Do you know what BDSM stands for?** Bad Dirty Sucking Machine  
**Do you know what HTML stands for?** Hoover Tickles My Lip.

Bryan looked up from the screen, took a deep breath then pressed the submit button. He grinned and said to himself;

"They wanted honesty. I can't get a job if they don't like my life style." He turned off the laptop, walked over to the closet and said to the appliance within;

"Ready for round two?"

* * *

Review please people! Even if it's just a "read it" I still appreciate them. Remember, you guys can tell me if you want this story to continue or be a oneshot!


End file.
